Sugar: [admiring a large fish trophy] What is it?
Junior: It's a member of the herring family.
Sugar: A herring? Isn't it amazing how they get those big fish into those little glass jars?
Junior: They shrink when they're marinated.

Donny: What the fuck is this?!
Spa worker: It's water infused with cucumber, rose petal and harvest sandalwood.
Donny: Tastes like fucking dick infused with balls.

Nicholas Angel: What's the situation?
DS Andy Wainwright: Two blokes and a fuck load of cutlery!

Han Solo: Who are you?
Princess Leia: Someone who loves you.

Who the fuck are the Knutsens?

The Dude

[yelling] I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head and piss in your dead skull! You f--ked with the wrong Marine!

Col. Jessep

Batty: Yes!
[smiles]
Batty: Questions... Morphology? Longevity? Incept dates?
Hannibal Chew: Don't know, I don't know such stuff. I just do eyes, ju-, ju-, just eyes... just genetic design, just eyes. You Nexus, huh? I design your eyes.
Batty: Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes!

Nick: "You're gonna be our lookout."
Dale: "I'm gonna honk the horn six times."
Kurt: "Something much more subtle..."
Dale: "Four honks?"
Nick: "Can you honk once?"
Dale: "People honk once all the time - you're gonna be running in and out of the house..."

Thorny: All right Arlo, why don't you hop up on Uncle Rabbit's lap?
Rabbit: [Indicating that he still has an erection] I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorny!

And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.

Dumbledore

Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Nihilist: Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.
Walter Sobchak: Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
The Dude: Hey, cool it Walter.
Walter Sobchak: No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
Nihilist #2: His girlfriend gave up her toe!
Nihilist #3: She though we'd be getting million dollars!
Nihilist #2: Iss not fair!
Walter Sobchak: FAIR!! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE!? WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?

Buzzie: [Flaps and Dizzy have just saved Mowgli] He's safe now. You can let go, Baloo.
Baloo: Are you kidding? There's teeth in the other end!

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