[people in the neighborhood are looking at Hancock] What the hell are you pricks staring at?

Hancock

Admiral Benson: Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?" Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out one day like a bad bulb? I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knockout gal... or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!

No measure of time with you will be long enough. But we'll start with forever.

Edward

Ugh! Human females are so repulsive.

Lursa

You are NOT my mother.

Coraline Jones

Mother of God.

Thorny

In my humble opinion... in the nuclear world, the true enemy is war itself.

Hunter

You want me so bad, its like acid in your mouth.

Bodhi

Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies.
Jack Sparrow: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Murtogg: I said no lies.
Mullroy: I think he's telling the truth.
Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack Sparrow: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Leo: If you put 'Cut Kittens' the title of your video, you will have a million hits, then you can put that as a link to your standup.
Ira Wright: Why not just put 'Megan Fox giving a blowjob'?

Mike Dexter: Who's gonna want you now?
Amanda Becket: [Looking at letter] Somebody.
Mike Dexter: Somebody? More like... nobody!
Amanda Becket: Gosh, Mike. You really got me.

Counselor: I want her to have something that she would not be uncomfortable wearing. I don't want to give her a diamond so big she'd be afraid to wear it.
Diamond Dealer: She is probably more courageous than you imagine.

FREE Movie Newsletter