Stanford College Girl: [Walks away with "Stanford" on the back of her panties] You don't even remember my name, do you?
Sean Parker: Stanford?

Nemo: Hey dad! Maybe when I'm at school, I'll see a shark.
Marlin: I highly doubt it.
Nemo: Have how ever met a shark?
Marlin: No, and I don't plan to.
Nemo: How old are sea turtles?
Marlin: Sea turtles? I don't know.
Nemo: Sandy Plankton from next door, he says they live to be 100.
Marlin: Well, if I ever meet a sea turtle I'll ask him, right after I'm done talking to the shark.

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.

The Shoveller

Peter "Weps" Ince: Con, Weapons. Missiles will be ready to launch in 4 minutes.
Hunter: Listen Weps, listen Weps, don't do this. Don't do this Weps, once we launch, they can not come back, they can not come back Weps, and you know the repercussions if we're wrong, goddamit. Weps, if we fire now, we'll be firing when we're blind and crippled, you understand that?
Peter "Weps" Ince: Where the fuck are you?
Hunter: Do not remove the firing trigger! Do not open that safe Weps. We're counting you, it is up to YOU Weps. It is up to you. [Hangs up]
Peter "Weps" Ince: [to a petty officer] Mind your fucking panel!

Tuck: So you're not backing off?
FDR: Nope.

Lacey Underall: Who's you decorator? Bennihana?
Ty Webb: No, I brought most of that stuff back with me from Vietnam.
Lacey Underall: You were in the war?
Ty Webb: [limps and pats his butt] No... Homo.

Some of these people make me sick. But a law's been broken here. You do remember the law, don't you?

Joe Miller

Sundance Kid: Hey, what are you doin'?
Butch Cassidy: Stealin' your woman?
Sundance Kid: [pauses, yawns] Take her. Take her.
Butch Cassidy: Well, you're a romantic bastard, I'll give you that.

Frankie Dunn: You got big holes in your socks.
Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris: Oh, they're not that big.
Frankie Dunn: Didn't I give you money for some new ones?
Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris: These are my sleeping socks. My feet like a little air at night.
Frankie Dunn: How come you're wearing them in the daytime, then?
Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris: 'Cause my daytime socks got too many holes in them.

Nick: "You know that last month you made me work so late that I missed saying goodbye to my Gam-Gam?"
Dave: "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick: "My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said if I left early I'd get fired - and she died before I made it to the hospital."
Dave: "I'm sorry."
Nick: "Thank you."
Dave: "I had no idea that you called your grandmother 'Gam-Gam.' (laughing hysterically) "Sorry. Sorry that you didn't get to say bye-bye to Gam-Gam..."

Is your act just designed to make sure no girl will ever sleep with you?

George Simmons

Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!

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