Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: You promised you'd visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.
Elwood: You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... way.

I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.

Red

Jessica Stanley: Bella! Guess who just asked me to prom. I totally thought Mike was gonna ask you, actually. Um, it's not gonna be weird though, right?
Isabella Swan: No, no. Zero weirdness. You guys are great together.
Jessica Stanley: I know, right?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [Randy brings Frank a glass of whiskey] Thank you Randy. You still with Snowqueen Sugar?
Randy: Snowflake. How come you always get that wrong?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Because it's not important for me to get it right.

Eli: You never even gave me the time of day till I started getting good reviews.
Margot: Your reviews weren't that good.
Eli: But the sales are.

So, what's the choice, James? Two targets - time enough for one shot

Alec Trevelyan

Ludwig Beck: Just remember: nothing ever goes according to plan.

Maximus: Do you find it difficult to do your duty?
Cicero: Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I have to.

Hospital Nurse: We brought you right back. People die all the time.
Bertram Pincus: Yeah, but it's usually just once...at the end.

Someone has to pay, Lenny. Somebody always pays.

Teddy

Oooh, Behave!

Austin Powers

Dan: That's some song you got there. I promise you it could be a big hit. Plus you're beautiful.
Gretta: I'm sorry, what's beauty got to do with anything?
Dan: Jesus, you're tricky, aren't you?

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