[to Agent 99] Is that your default setting or something? Oh, today's Tuesday, I'll punch Max. Oh look, a box of kittens, I think I'll punch Max. I have this piece of bread so now I'm going to punch Max.

Maxwell Smart

[Rob turns off Barry's tape]
Barry: OK, buddy, uh, I was just tryin' to cheer us up so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care.
Rob: I don't wanna hear old sad bastard music, Barry, I just want something I can ignore.
Barry: Here's the thing. I made that tape special for today. My special Monday morning for *you*... special.
Rob: Well, it's fuckin' Monday afternoon! You should get out of bed earlier!

I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, in a situation like this, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are... wrong. I'mright.

Ronald Quincy

We didn't need dialogue. We had faces!

Norma Desmond

Andrew: Speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.

Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.

Smokey

[Vernon catches Bender playing basketball]
Bender: Don't you want to hear my excuse?
Richard Vernon: Out.
Bender: I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.

White Bitch: This crystal will finally put an end to the resistance. I will start a series of earthquakes that will collapse all of Gnarnia and grow a new continent where onlyI and my followers will live.
Bink: Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much the plot of Superman Returns.
White Bitch: Pretty much, yeah.

Fisk: You know, I've learned one thing in all my years in this business.
Matt Murdock: What's that?
Fisk: Nobody's innocent. Nobody.

Shrek: Excuse me; can you ladies tell me where to find...
Cheerleader: Ugh, totally ew-eth.
Cheerleader: Totally.

Tank: I would kick you in the ass, but my foot might get sucked in.
Alexis: Well I would kick you in the dick, but my foot might get Herpes.

Ned Plimpton: I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve Zissou: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned Plimpton: You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve Zissou: Okay, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve Zissou: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.

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