Bettina Peterson: You look lost.
Chuck Noland: I do?
Bettina Peterson: Where're you headed?
Chuck Noland: Well, I was just about to figure that out.
Bettina Peterson: Well, that's 83 South. And this road here will hook you up with I-40 East. If you turn right, that'll take you to Amarillo, Flagstaff, California. And if you head back that direction, you'll find a whole lot of nothing all the way to Canada.
Chuck Noland: I got it.
Bettina Peterson: All right, then. Good luck, cowboy.
Chuck Noland: Thank You.

Leslie: How's Howie?
Wendy: Oh well, I wouldn't say my father's trying to bribe me, but he did offer me a Chrysler Lebaron convertible if I get engaged to Howie.
Jules: Have you fucked him yet?
Wendy: Jules!... God.
Jules: Listen... get the car, fuck him, and if you don't like him, break the engagement... And then you can still fuck him.

Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.
Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.
Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.
Woody Stevens: Well not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.

Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
Macaulay Connor: You're not likely to dear. Not from where you sit.

Hermione: Look at you playing with your cards. Pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon.
Ron: I'm ready! Ask me any questions.
Hermione: All right, what's the three most crucial ingredients in a Forgetfulness Potion?
Ron: I forgot.
Hermione: And what may I ask do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?
Ron: Copy off you?
Hermione: No, you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.
Ron: That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!

I was trying to help you, bitch!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Nancy Hayes: Jack, what do you think will happen if that money reaches those thugs.
Jack Ryan: I don't know. They'll probably have a hell of a luau.
Nancy Hayes: I mean to Walter!
Jack Ryan: We'll probably get invited.

Rabbi Jake Schram: What's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah really about? Anyone? Steve Posner.
Steve Posner: Sexual perversion.
Rabbi Jake Schram: Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's watching too much Spice Channel!

Kumar: How are you still alive?
Neil Patrick Harris: What are you talking about?
Harold: We saw you get shot, remember?
Neil Patrick Harris: You have to be more specific...
Kumar: In that whore house?
Harold: In Texas?
Kumar: You branded a prostitute...
Harold: Remember?
Neil Patrick Harris: Oh yeah...

All right! This is it! Now you all know me, so I'm gonna say this as simply as I can. If it's our time to die, it's our time. All I ask is, if we have to give these bastards our lives... WE GIVE 'EM HELL BEFORE WE DO!


A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.

Raoul Duke

Moaning Myrtle: Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet.
Harry: Uh... thanks, Myrtle.

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