[shouting, smashing car with golf club] This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

Walter Sobchak

Nadia: [takes off her panties]
Jim: Holy shit.
Finch: HOLY SHIT!
Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member: [together] Holy shit!
Enthusiastic Guy: [enthusiastically] Holy shit!

Byong: We have not yet received payment. Price now 100 million, or Simple Jack dies.
Les Grossman: Okay, let me get this straight. You want 100 million... oh wait, I have a better idea. How about I send you a hobo's dick cheese?

People don't like to have fire poked, poked in their noses.

Corky St. Clair

Jenny Johnson: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Matt Saunders: You didn't just go to the bathroom?
Jenny Johnson: Are you keeping track? That's kind of creepy.

Barbossa: [Captain Barbossa and Captain Jack Sparrow are both trying to give orders] What are you doing?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doing?
Barbossa: No, what are you doing?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doing?
Barbossa: No, what are you doing?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doing? Hmm. Captain gives orders on the ship.
Barbossa: The Captain of this ship is giving orders!
Jack Sparrow: [thinking] My ship, makes me captain!
Barbossa: They be my charts!
Jack Sparrow: That makes you Chart-man!
Pintel: Stow it! The both of you! That's an order! Understand!
[They glare at him]
Pintel: Sorry, I just thought that with the Captain issue in doubt I'd just throw in my name for consideration. Sorry.

Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...

Les Grossman

Was it morally wrong to exploit our knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? That hot tub time machine turned us into kings!

Lou

Detective Richie Roberts: Good work Frank. You... want a drink or something? Celebrate?
Frank Lucas: You got any holy water?

Lydia: Those three idiots crashed the party!
Mac: Who? The Kardashian girls?

With the slightest disturbance, dreams are gonna collapse.

Arthur

Masrani: You created a monster!
Henry Wu: Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat.

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