Bartleby: You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years eight times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.
Loki: In the bed that you and your wife share, no less!
Hud: Okay, just to be clear here, our options are: die here, die in the tunnels, or die in the streets. That pretty much it?
Rob Hawkins: Yeah... that's pretty much it.
Maya: What's the title?
Miles Raymond: The Day After Yesterday.
Maya: Oh... You mean today?
Sammy Jankis wrote himself endless notes. But he'd get mixed up. I've got a more graceful solution to the memory problem. I'm disciplined and organized. I use habit and routine to make my life possible. Sammy had no drive. No reason to make it work.Leonard Shelby
Luke: How far away is Yoda?
Yoda: Not far. Yoda not far. Soon you will be with him.
Kat Stratford: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke.
Patrick: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you.
Kat Stratford: You think?
Maggie Witzky: LISA?
Lisa: You impregnated my sister again.
Maggie Witzky: BITCH!
Lisa: I thought you wanted me to tell him.
Maggie Witzky: Why, because I said don't?
Wendy: Kill em' for me Marv. Kill 'em good.
Marv: I won't let you down, Goldie.
Radio announcer: President Truman'll be here tomorrow, so all you folks in Dallas turn out, chuh hear? This is Cowboy Rhythms on KTRN, Wichita Falls, here's Hank Williams' big hit tune, "Cold Cold Heart".
Sam the Lion: You ain't ever gonna amount to nothing. Already spent a dime this morning, ain't even had a decent breakfast. Gimme the chalk. Why don't you comb you hair Sonny, it sticks up, look like you smelled'm wolf. I'm surprised you had the nerve to show up this morning after that stomping y'all took last night.
Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here?
[cops left moments earlier to check out a shooting in Millbrook Park]
Harold: What the hell are you doing?
Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
Harold: Jesus Christ! What'd you do that for?
Kumar: I'm fucking starving! I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers.
Morty: [Morty and Michael go back to the past to Michael's birth, Michael's parents were arguing if he had a penis or not] Your mom must've had a good eyesight cause I didnt see anything.
Michael Newman: Haha very funny.
What do you know?!Bryan Mills