Crash Davis: You having fun yet?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Oh, yeah. Havin' a blast.
Crash Davis: Good.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
Crash Davis: He did know.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: How?
Crash Davis: I told him.

Larry: I want you to tell me your name. Please.
[throws down money]
Alice: Thank you. My name is Jane.
Larry: Your real name.
[throws down more money]
Alice: Thank you. My real name is Jane.
Larry: Careful.
[throws down more money]
Alice: Thank you. Still Jane.
Larry: I've about got another 500 quid here. Why don't I just give you all this money, and you tell me what your real name is, Alice.
[throws down all his money]
Alice: I promise.
[picks up some of the money]
Alice: Thank you. My real name... is plain... Jane Jones.

Vice President Kathryn Bennett: We're trying to do everything we can.
Egor Korshunov: Tell me what I want to hear or I will execute a member of the senior staff and continue killing one hostage every minute until the plane crashes, or refueling plane arrive. Well what do you say?
Vice President Kathryn Bennett: Fuel's on its way.
Egor Korshunov: Thank you.

Vacation's when you go somewhere... and you don't ever come back.

Mrs. Gump

Les Grossman: What you gotta do is pull down their pants and spank their ass, you spank it.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: You spank that ass Les!

Joel Goodson: Some of the girls are wearing my mother's clothing.
Lana: What's wrong with that?
Joel Goodson: I just don't want to spend the rest of my life in analysis.

All I'm saying is, when we split the cheque three ways the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man.

The Blue Raja

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

Daxos: I saw those ships smashed on the rocks. How can this be?
Stelios: We saw but a fraction of the monster that is Xerxes' army.
Daxos: There can be no victory here... why do you smile?
Stelios: Arcadian, I've fought countless times, yet I've never met an adversary who could offer me what we Spartans call "A Beautiful Death." I can only hope, with all the world's warriors gathered against us, there might be one down there who's up to the task.

Gray: [during an Indominus Rex attack] We need more.
Claire: More what?
Gray: We need more teeth.

Alvin: [during a chase] They'll never take us alive!
Simon: [in the cat carrier] They just did take us alive, Alvin!

Benji Dunn: Let me guess. Presumed dead?
Ethan Hunt: Well tonight, I just made it official.

FREE Movie Newsletter