Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower.


Let me get this straight. You think that your employer, one of the richest men in the world, is spending his nights running around the city beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands? And your plan is to blackmail him? Good luck.

Lucius Fox

Linda: Hey, Ash! I guessed the card right!
Ash: Yeah... truly amazing.

Come on into the water!

Christine 'Chrissie' Watkins

King Henry VIII: And who are you?
Mary Boleyn: Mary, your grace.
King Henry VIII: The other Boleyn girl?
Mary Boleyn: Yes.

Shaun: What are you doing lying there?
Lance: Oh, my parole officer wants to give me a drug test and I need your urine... can I score some of your piss?
Shaun: Yeah.
Lance: Awesome, man.

Dr. P: Every once in a while, a shepherd has to pluck a sheep from the heard and challenge him. It lets the man know he's worthy of leading him.
Roger: Well, you know what? I don't want to be a shepherd anymore!
Dr. P: You're not the shepherd, DUMB ASS, I'm the shepherd! Its called an analogy, moron!
Roger: Look, you dont understand. Everything was going so well between us.
Dr. P: Well, clearly I'm sure you're just days away from adopting a Chinese kid together.

Anita: You have your big important council. The council,
Anita: or me.
Bernardo: First one,
Bernardo: then the other.
[Tries to kiss her, she pulls away]
Anita: Ah, I'm an American girl now, I don't wait.
Bernardo: Ah, back home women know their place.
Anita: Back home little boys don't have war councils.
Bernardo: Ah, but they do here. You want me to be an American, don't you?

[while waiting on a very tardy psychic] You would he'd be able to predict that the traffic is going to be bad.


Bob walked right into the bar and shot at Corky, only he misses, 'cause he was so damn drunk he couldn't see straight. Old Corky went for his gun and got in such a hurry that he shot his own toe off. Bob shot at Corky again, and he misses again, because he's still so damn drunk. He hits this thousand-dollar mirror over the bar. And now, the Duck of Death is as good as dead. Because this time, Corky does it right. He takes careful aim, slowly squeezes the trigger, and... BAM! That Walker Colt he was carrying blew up in his hand, a failing common to that model. See, what I'm trying to tell you is if Corky really had two guns instead of a big dick, he'd be alive today.

Little Bill Daggett

Christian Grey: It's just behind this door.
Anastasia Steele: What is?
Christian Grey: My playroom.
Anastasia Steele: Like your Xbox and stuff?
Christian Grey: It's important that you know you can leave at anytime.
Anastasia Steele: Why? What's in there?
Christian Grey: I meant what I said. The helicopter is on standby to take you whenever you want to go.
Anastasia Steele: Could you just open the door?
Anastasia Steele: [walks into the room] Oh my God.

Dietrich: Dr. Jones, surely you don't think you can escape from this island?
Indiana: That depends on how reasonable we're all willing to be. All I want is the girl.
Dietrich: And if we refuse?
Indiana: Then your Führer has no prize.

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