Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.

Raoul Duke

[With tears in her eyes] Well, I think they ought to take the word 'compassion' out of the English dictionary.

Gareth Peirce

Stomach of the week. Unemployed actor had frankfurter, french fries, alcohol, and sperm. Hell of a last supper, don't you think?

Ray Pinker

Don't you think it's ironic that Rebecca Bloomwood is advising people on how to handle money.

Suze

Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

Mr. Hand

Angelica Bell: What were you thinking about?
Virginia Woolf: I was going to kill my heroine. But I've changed my mind.

Who, in their right mind Kevin, could possibly deny the twentieth century was entirely mine.

John Milton

Kirby: Your packet has tickets in it, and there's your badge number.
Richard: Okay.
Kirby: Is there anything else?
Richard: Uh, yeah. Is there a funeral home around here?

Barney Ross: [watching Luna fight] I could do that.
Bonaparte: You wanna slip on a dress and give it a shot?

I blew the meet with Matsui.

Linus Caldwell

Marty DiBergi: Now, during the Flower People period, who was your drummer?
David St. Hubbins: Stumpy's replacement, Peter James Bond. He also died in mysterious circumstances. We were playing a, uh...
Nigel Tufnel: ...Festival.
David St. Hubbins: Jazz blues festival. Where was that?
Nigel Tufnel: Blues jazz, really.
Derek Smalls: Blues jazz festival. Misnamed.
Nigel Tufnel: It was in the Isle of, uh...
David St. Hubbins: Isle of Lucy. The Isle of Lucy jazz and blues festival.
Nigel Tufnel: And, uh, it was tragic, really. He exploded on stage.
Derek Smalls: Just like that.
David St. Hubbins: He just went up.
Nigel Tufnel: He just was like a flash of green light... And that was it. Nothing was left.
David St. Hubbins: Look at his face.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, there was...
David St. Hubbins: It's true, this really did happen.
Nigel Tufnel: It's true. There was a little green globule on his drum seat.
David St. Hubbins: Like a stain, really.
Nigel Tufnel: It was more of a stain than a globule, actually.

Mark: Hey, vagina!
Andrew Largeman: Hey, what's up, guys? Uh, Sam, it's Mark, Dave, and you remember Jesse.
Jesse: Hey.
Sam: Hey.
Dave: What's up?
Mark: Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry I said vagina just now. I didn't know you were here.
Sam: Oh, that's okay.
Mark: Nice. Let's get fucked up.

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