[pushing elevator buttons] It looks like a Christmas tree!


Get this thing off of me! Get this thing off of me!

Crazed Man in Massage Parlour

Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name?
Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers.
Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
Jack Horner: Those are some great names.

"Due to our tight fiscal situation, we regret to inform you we are still going to have to close your station. Good luck in Sherbune, John. And give your men my best. Sincerely, Governor Fuckhead."

Captain O'Hagan

Tibby: Hey, do you know who would have loved this P, Bee? Your mom.
Bridget: Yeah. I remember this one time she decided that she'd make one herself. She always woke up starving after one of her episodes. I was just sitting in the kitchen doing my homework and she just walked in and just started making this thing. You know, I don't even know if you could call it a pizza. It was more like the entire contents of our refrigerator on a round crust.

I love this game!

The Cable Guy

You don't know what you're getting yourself into.

Bella Swan

Randal Graves: If you break Dante's heart again, I'll kill you. Nothing personal.
Caitlin Bree: You sure are protective of Dante.

All you need is love.


One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.


I guess you think I'm kicking you, Bob. But it ain't so. What I'm doing is talking, you hear? I'm talking to all those villains down there in Kansas. I'm talking to all those villains in Missouri. And all those villains down there in Cheyenne. And what I'm saying is there ain't no whore's gold. And if there was, how they wouldn't want to come looking for it anyhow.

Little Bill Daggett

What do stars do? They shine.


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