Matilda: I've been trying to reach you for a week.
Derek Zoolander: A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
Matilda: That was last Friday.
Derek Zoolander: Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?
Aw, man. You made friends with them. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong.Lester Bangs
Watching Boy: [stares at Willie] I saw you at another mall.
Willie: Well, I'm happy for you.
Watching Boy: If you really are Santa, you could do magic.
Willie: [whispers] Wanna see some magic? OK, let's watch you disappear!
Harry: I swear I don't know. One second the glass was there and the next it was gone. It was like magic.
Uncle Vernon: There is no such thing as magic!
Blue Collar Man: Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but what are you talking about?
Randal Graves: The ending of "Return of the Jedi".
Dante Hicks: My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when it was destroyed by the Rebels.
If John Doe's head splits open and a UFO should fly out, I want you to have expected it.William Somerset
Mini-me, we do not gnaw on the kitty.Dr. Evil
Wanda: You just wanted to get me into bed.
Archie: I fell in love with you.
Wanda: How come you dumped me then.
Archie: I wasn't rich enough, remember.
Wanda: Say something in Russian.
No one is loved as much as you by the people. Don't waste that power.Mary Todd Lincoln
Chenille: Who? Because in this crowd you're going to have to be a bit more specific.
Maggie Fitzgerald: Mr. Dunn?
Frankie Dunn: Hmm. I owe you money?
Maggie Fitzgerald: No sir.
Frankie Dunn: I know your mama?
Maggie Fitzgerald: Don't rightly know, sir.
Frankie Dunn: Then what is it you want?
Toni Mannix: She's a lesbian, you know.
George Reeves: Who?
Toni Mannix: The one playing Lois.
George Reeves: Phyllis? Is she really?
Toni Mannix: No. She is now, as far as you're concerned.
George Reeves: Well... there it is.