Uh, what my associate is trying say is... Our new brake pads are really cool. You're not even gonna believe it. Like, let's say you're driving along the road with your family.

Tommy

Johnny Cash: Why don't you tell them about the flood? Tell 'em about how you made a boat out of the front door and got us all out of there. They'll like that.
Carlene Carter: Tell us!
Johnny Cash: Come on, tell 'em. You got to pull the string tight.
Ray Cash: It was 1937; there was a flood...

Travis, get your gorgeous tuchus out of here.

Marilyn Dean

Anthony, I need to talk to you, man... Anthony, I have got to talk to you! Look, I am sorry about this, this seems like a nice soiree, but I have got a family situation. I don't care what you think. I dont care! Tengo una situación con mi familia! Dignan does not want to deal with it, could you please come outside for a minute?

Bob

Dan: [impersonating a woman in a chat room] DDW: wait have 2 type with 1 hand am cumming right now... ohohohohoh ohoho hohohohoh ohohohoo hohoooo ooooooooooo oooo oooooooo oooooooooo oooooo oooooo+_*&^%$£!£$%&*&*^%&^%$££D!$ %^&**&**&&*12 3038948485 75us7sjc7d78s8 7o/s8 78us uiu7sbom/
Larry: DOC9: was it good?
Dan: DDW: no

Customer: [reading the tabloids] I saw one, one time, that said the world was ending the next week. Then in the next week's paper, they said we were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a Koala-fish mutant bird. Crazy shit.
Randal Graves: So I'm no more responsible for my own decisions while I'm here at work than, say, the Death Squad soldiers in Bosnia?
Dante Hicks: That's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.
Randal Graves: Not yet.

What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.

Dirk

Thomas: What the hell are you doing here?
Carter Chambers: Fighting for my life. You?

Are those fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads?

Dr. Evil

Manager: I'm not suspending you, I'm firing you!
Eden: Well, if she's fired, I quit!
Lena: Me too!
Anne Marie: So you're seriously firing all of us?
Manager: No, I'm firing you, they quit, so don't get any ideas about un-employment!
Anne Marie: Seriously, guys, don't quit! We need to make rent.

Trust you? The last time I trusted you, Mookie, I ended up with a son.

Tina

So 38 of New York's finest versus one guy in a unitard. Am I correct?

George Stacy

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