Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy's greatest hits.
James Carter: Don't you go having gettin' an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain't done nothin' but work your cases. The only reason why I'm here in Hong Kong is 'cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I'm on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu.
Lee: Mushu, you hungry?
James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.

Prince Henry suffers from an arranged marriage, signore, among other things...

Captain Laurent

You are the greatest player I have ever seen. Besides my self, practicing in front of a mirror... which I do... everyday... in the nude.

Karl Wolfschtagg

What's holding him up?

Hank Fallon

Jim Gordon: The Narrows is tearing itself to pieces.
Batman: This is just the beginning. If they hit the whole city with toxins, there's nothing to stop Gotham from tearing itself apart through mass panic.
Jim Gordon: How are they gonna do that?
Batman: They'll be using the train. The monorail follows the water mains along Gotham's central hub beneath Wayne Tower. If they get their machine into the station, it'll cause a chain reaction that'll vaporize the city's entire water supply.
Jim Gordon: Covering Gotham in this poison.
Batman: I'm gonna stop them from loading that train, but I may need your help.
Jim Gordon: What do you need?
Batman: [holds up the Batmobile remote] Can you drive stick

Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.

Matthew

Hud: [during a very stressful run up stairs] How could they not know anything about it? Unless... maybe they're like, in on it, you know? Like maybe the government created it or something.
Rob Hawkins: Do we have to talk about this now Hud?
Hud: Well, I need to talk about something, because if I don't I'm going to actually shit my pants in this stairwell.

Clone Commander Gree: The droids have just started up their main power generators.
Yoda: And now, the time is Commander.
Clone Commander Gree: Yes sir.

Carter: No disrespect, sir, but he's only gonna get in my way. If I'm gonna handle the situation for you, I'm gonna have to work alone.
Agent Russ: Carter, he *is* the situation.

Jack: This chick Stephanie, she's got it all goin' on.
Miles Raymond: Well, she is cute, yeah.
Jack: Cute? She's a fuckin' hottie. And you almost tell her that I'm gettin' married? What's the matter with you?

[reading from a review] This album begs the question "What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't head have rested on that day too?"

Marty DiBergi

Lara: How far can bullets go?
Daniel: They go pretty far except sometimes they get stuck in something and they stop.
Lara: What if they don't?
Daniel: Are you thinking about that bullet than went through your window?

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