Richard Vernon: You're not fooling anyone Bender. The next screw that falls out will be you.
Bender: Eat my shorts.
Richard Vernon: What was that?
Bender: Eat... My... Shorts.
Richard Vernon: You just bought yourself another Saturday.
Bender: Ooh, I'm crushed.
Richard Vernon: You just bought one more.
Bender: Well I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.

[singing] Silver white winters that melt into springs, these are a few of my favorite things.

Maria

Barbara: We're very unhappy.
Juno: What did you expect? You're dead.

I have a slight inferiority complex.

James Bond

Cameron: [after Christine's been molested] Who are you calling?
Christine: I'm gonna report their asses, sons of bitches.

Karen Eiffel: Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself, in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat.
Harold Crick: This is my stop I should go.
Karen Eiffel: He was elated and surprised by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Mrs. Pascal. So elated that he exited the transit authority bus a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk.

[Blurts out, to the disgusted crowd after exiting the bar] What're ya looking at? Huh?

Evil Superman

Sometimes there are things no one can fix.

Padme

It's like every morning I wake up and I FAIL!

Rita

As long as my brother talks this crazy Notre Dame shit, he deserves anything that comes his way!

Frank

Todd: You know, what I remember is ME having to drive YOU home from the beach that time, because you were too drunk!
Donny: Somebody else's dad would have had another guy drive home!
Todd: I was eight!
Donny: And you drove like a fucking champ too.

He has great business sense. First he sold me fish and chips, then the whole thing.

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