Happy Gilmore: Oh, man. That was so much easier than putting. I should just try to get the ball in one shot every time.
Chubbs: Good plan.

Oh, you know what? Next week's no good for me... The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.

Alan Garner

Eli: Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.
Matt: A tripod?
Eli: Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs... WE. ALL. FALL!

ORV. Bullet holes. Bullet holes?

Chunk

Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you.

Dean Vernon Wormer

Ellen Griswold: Stay in the car! It's hot and dangerous out here.
Aunt Edna: Don't you tell me what to do, I'll do what I want! I should never have come on this trip with you, I should have taken an airplane... and he...
Aunt Edna: He shouldn't even have a license to drive an automobile! He should be BEHIND BARS!
Ellen Griswold: SIT down and SHUT UP! Move outta that seat and I'll split your lip!

Kirk: You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, doctor.
McCoy: That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost.

[Reading from a manuscript of what Bruce said the previous evening] "The gloves are off, God.", "God has taken my bird and my bush.", "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.", "Smite me, O Mighty Smiter." Now, I'm not big on blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh.

God

Walter Sobchak: The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin' adversary.
Donny: Who's in pajamas Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Nash: [to Charles] The prodigal roommate revealed. "Saw my name on the lecture slate." YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH!
Dr. Rosen: Who are you talking to? Tell me who you see.
Nash: How do you say "Charles Herman" in Russian?

The world was stunned today by the death of Diego Ricardo, the youngest person on the planet, the youngest person on earth was 18 years, 4 months, 20 days, 16 hours, and 8 minutes old.

TV Reporter

These are mad times we live in! Mad!

Horace Slughorn

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