Colonel Robert G. Shaw: So what do you want to do?
Trip: Don't know, sir.
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: It stinks, I suppose.
Trip: Yeah, It stinks bad. And we all covered up in it too. Ain't nobody clean. Be nice to get clean, though.
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: How do we do that?
Trip: We ante up and kick in, sir. But I still don't want to carry your flag.
Sol Robeson: This is insanity, Max.
Maximillian Cohen: Or maybe it's genius.
Tom Dobbs: NASA spent 30 Million dollars creating the pen that would write upside down in space. Did you know that? The Russians, how ever, were able to solve this problem with
Tom Dobbs: Five cent pencil! Writes right side up, writes up-side down. After five quarts of vodka, is still writing!
Dying is easy. Playing a lesbian is hard.Mary Pat Hooligan
Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't catch it, just call me and we'll call somebody and have them take it away.
Gertie: Like the dog catcher?
Elliot: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.
Senior Jerk Alert!Mouth
God was showing off when he made you.Rabbi Jake Schram
Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: You promised you'd visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.
Elwood: You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... way.
Daisy: You are so much younger.
Benjamin Button: Only on the outside.
Squirrel Master: Back up Nasty Nate, this my bitch!
Nasty Nate: Better watch your back Fish! Squirrel Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time. Next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail... FRUIT!
Kenny: Here take it! I'm somebody's bitch!
Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?Princess Leia
Feng: "Ping pong or how the Chinese say: ping pong