Who cares if I've had a few little nips and tucks? God didn't make plastic surgeons so they could starve!

G.G. Sparrow

Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete's cousin turned us in for the bounty.
Pete: The hell you say! Wash is kin!
Washington Hogwallop: Sorry, Pete, I know we're kin, but they got this depression on. I got to do for me and mine.
Pete: I'm gonna kill you, Judas Iscariot Hogwallop!

Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in... or are you out?

Kathryn

Bob walked right into the bar and shot at Corky, only he misses, 'cause he was so damn drunk he couldn't see straight. Old Corky went for his gun and got in such a hurry that he shot his own toe off. Bob shot at Corky again, and he misses again, because he's still so damn drunk. He hits this thousand-dollar mirror over the bar. And now, the Duck of Death is as good as dead. Because this time, Corky does it right. He takes careful aim, slowly squeezes the trigger, and... BAM! That Walker Colt he was carrying blew up in his hand, a failing common to that model. See, what I'm trying to tell you is if Corky really had two guns instead of a big dick, he'd be alive today.

Little Bill Daggett

Grace: You know that everything happens for a reason.
Bruce: See, that I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful to me. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"... I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush.

Will Jimeno: This guy. He's gonna die if you don't get him out soon. And the only thing in the way is my leg. I want you to cut it off. Just cut if off. I can live without a leg.
Scott Strauss: I'm not cutting your leg off. I can't. You're coming out in one piece, you hear me?
Will Jimeno: You gotta... Look it's my leg. Just juice me up and cut it off. If he dies, I die. That's just the way it is.
Scott Strauss: Look Will, your partner must be 20 feet deeper. Probably more compacted than you. Even if I cut your leg off, he's not gonna get out of there for hours. I'm sorry, man. Now, let me do my work.

Elliot: You're so immature!
Greg: And you're such a sinus supremus.
Elliot: Zero charisma!
Greg: Sinus supremus!
Elliot: Zero charisma!
Greg: Sinus supremus!
Elliot: Shut up Greg!

Scott: Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.
Dr Evil: Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
Scott: Him? Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
Dr Evil: Probably.

Han Solo: Well, look at you, a General!
Lando Calrissian: Someone must have told them all about my little maneuver at the battle of Taanab.
Han Solo: Well, don't look at me, pal. I just said you were a fair pilot. I didn't know they were looking for somebody to lead this crazy attack.

[to Anakin] Better stop your friend's betting or I'll end up owning him, too.

Watto

John McClane: What do you say, Marv?
Marvin: I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean up this mess.

There's more to fighting than rest, sir. There's character. There's strength of heart. You should have seen us in action two days ago. We were a sight to see! We'll be ready, sir. When do you want us?

Colonel Robert G. Shaw

FREE Movie Newsletter