The art of survival is a story that never ends.

Irving Rosenfeld

Apparently, he's got a record longer than my... well, it's long.

Linus

You're in no position disagree with me, boy. I got a loaded .45 here. You got pimples.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

Hans Gruber: You *can* unlock the vault, can't you?
Theo: You didn't bring me along for my charming personality.

Will: You wanna call me "Daddy" while I fuck you, huh?
Aileen: I'll try. Why? You like to fuck your kids?

Steven: I have this friend and he gave his cable guy $50 and then he got all the movie channels for free. You ever hear of anything like that?
Chip Douglas: [Walks slowly towards Steven] You mean illegal cable?
Steven: Um... Yeah.
Chip Douglas: Who told you that? What is his name? I want it.
Steven: Just forget it.
Chip Douglas: You're offering me a bribe. What you have just done is illegal and in this state, if convicted, you could be fined up to $5,000 or spend six months in a correction facility!
Steven: No, please, that was dumb. I was just making conversation. Forget it.
Chip Douglas: [Bursts out laughing] I'm just jerking your chain! Ha ha ha. The look on your face! Ha ha, you are too easy!
Chip Douglas: Wake up, little snoozy. Smell the smelling salts? Ha ha ha. I'll juice ya up.

I guess we're all two people.

Batman

Happy wife, happy life!

Mac

Amber Von Tussle: Aren't you a little fat for the show?
Tracy Turnblad: I'm sure many of the other home viewers out there are pleasantly plump or chunky.
Amber Von Tussle: Come on. The show's not filmed in Cinemascope.

Day one, greenie, rise and shine

Gally

Howard Hughes: No, wait! Honey, you can't move! You can't move, you're safe here! You're in the germ-free zone now, y'understand?
Ava Gardner: I'll take my chances.
Howard Hughes: No, no! Honey, wait... wait, uh...
[Ava removes the string barriers from the doorway and walks into the study. She turns on the light, revealing that entire room is covered with used tissues and string barriers everywhere. Silence for a moment]
Ava Gardner: Love what you've done with the place...

Sally Albright: Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry Burns: Well, they haven't faked it with me.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because I know.
Sally Albright: Oh. Right. Thats right. I forgot. Youre a man.
Harry Burns: What was that supposed to mean?
Sally Albright: Nothing. Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them, and all women at one time or other have done it, so you do the math.

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