Dixie: Hey, what about your boyfriend? What was his name?
Roxanne Kowalski: Richard.
Dixie: When's he coming?
Roxanne Kowalski: He's not. He's not coming.
Dixie: What happened?
Roxanne Kowalski: We just ran out of gas. I guess I mistook sex for love.
Sandy: Oh, I did that once. It was great.

Rabbi Jake Schram: What's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah really about? Anyone? Steve Posner.
Steve Posner: Sexual perversion.
Rabbi Jake Schram: Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's watching too much Spice Channel!

Jean: Do you want to hear something funny?
Maria: What's that Mrs. Jean?
Jean: You're the best friend I've got.

Courtney: Darcy thinks she should get captain 'cause her dad pays for everything.
Whitney: He should use some of that money to buy her a clue.

This valley is just one long smorgasboard.

Valentine McKee

Is the world fundamentally a better place because of science and technology? We shop at home, we surf the Web... at the same time, we feel emptier, lonelier and more cut off from each other than at any other time in human history...

Palmer Joss

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
Harold Crick: I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well, that sounds like a comedy. Try to develop that.

Father Brian Finn: You must think I'm such an idiot!
Anna Riley: No, Brian!
Father Brian Finn: No, no no, I think I'm an idiot!

Stupid is as stupid does.

Forrest Gump

Emmett: Did you take Mrs. Windham on a date?
Enrique Salvatore: Yes.
Emmett: Where?
Enrique Salvatore: A restaurant in Concord, where no one could recognize us.
Emmett: How long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
Enrique Salvatore: Three months.
Emmett: And your boyfriend's name is...
Enrique Salvatore: Chuck.
Emmett: Right.
Enrique Salvatore: Pardon me, pardon me! I thought you said friend; Chuck is just a friend!
Chuck: YOU BITCH!

I would stay asleep my whole life, if I could dream myself into a company of players.

Viola de Lesseps

Christ... where did you come from and how can I make more of you?

Kenny

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