A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there." And the man says, "No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."


[his feet in a bucket] I gotta wash this vinegar off my feet. This is strong vinegar, it smells awful. This vinegar went bad!

Dante Slate, Jr.

Rocco: Wait, so you're not just talking about mob guys, right? You're talking about pimps and drug dealers and all that shit, right?
Connor: Oh, yeah.
Rocco: Fuck. You guys could do this every goddamn day!
Murphy: We're sorta like 7-Eleven. We're not always doing business, but we're always open.
Connor: That is nicely put.

I'm going to murder-ball you!


Fate didn't give a (expletive). Dead is dead.


Come on, Tess. You're not going hit me.

Ben 'Finn' Finnegan

The Dude: I mean we totally fucked it up man, we fucked up this payoff, we got the kidnappers all mad at us, and Lebowski, ya know, he yelled at me a lot but he didn't do anything, huh?
Walter Sobchak: Well, sometimes, it's a cathartic...
The Dude: No, I'm saying, if he knows I'm a fuck-up, why does he leave me in charge of getting his wife back? Because he doesn't fucking want her back! He no longer digs her, it's all a show! Ok, so then why doesn't he give a shit about his million bucks? I mean, he knows we never handed off the briefcase, but he never asked for it back. The million bucks was never in the briefcase! The asshole was hoping that they would kill her! You threw out a ringer for a ringer!

You see, Jason was my son, and today is his birthday.

Pamela Voorhees

Judge Anson B. Flynn: How long have you known your client?
Victor Larrabee: Seven years, Your Honor.
Judge Anson B. Flynn: Do you know him to be a reasonable man?
Victor Larrabee: Absolutely.
Clara Thornhill: Ha!
Roger Thornhill: Mother.
Judge Anson B. Flynn: And you believe there is some...

[chains the Chimera] What are you waiting for? Burn me!


Wendell, I'd like full and docile co-operation on every topic.

Captain Dudley Smith

Reid Garwin: 'Sup fellas?
Tyler Sims: Where were you? I stopped by to give you a lift.
Reid Garwin: Had things to do. How's the party?
Pogue Parry: Don't know. Just got here.
Reid Garwin: Well, hell, boys.

FREE Movie Newsletter