Stanley Goodspeed: Mason, you all right?
John Mason: [hanging upside down] Yes. Perfectly okay, you fucking idiot.

I should have had a vasectomy at birth! Let me tell you something Al, you ever have boys, do them a favor and get them neutered straight away. If they ever knock up some little slut, they're the ones who're fucked! Fucked for life! I hate you, you little bitch!


Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?

Wow! Look at that high definition face!

Fix-It Felix

[narrating] I wished that I'd gone down instead of Spud. Here I was surrounded by my family and my so-called mates and I've never felt so alone. Never in all my puff. Since I was on remand, they've had me on this program, this state sponsored addiction. Three sickly sweet doses of methadone a day instead of smack. But it's never enough. And at the moment it's nowhere near enough. I took all three this morning and now I've got eighteen hours to go until my next shot. I've got sweat on my back like a layer of frost. I need to visit the Mother Superior for one hit. One final hit to get us over this long, hard day.

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton

I would love to help you but I don't know what you are talking about.

Chris Farraday

Bob Wilton: What are you doing?
Lyn Cassady: [while driving the car] Cloud bursting, it keeps me sharp.
Lyn Cassady: [clouds over head dissapear] and it's gone.
[crashes the car into a rock]
Bob Wilton: Gees, you had like the whole dessert to dive in, Lyn.

We didn't run out of planes and television sets. We ran out of food.


Richie: You dropped some cigarettes.
Margot: Those aren't mine.
Richie: They just fell out of your pocket.

There's a brotherhood between us. And if you're not willing to give up everything, you've already lost.

Navy Seal #2

Bruce: Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that?
God: Great... If you wanna be Miss America.

Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual.
Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights?
Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?
Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst.
Ms. Perky: Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist? Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!

FREE Movie Newsletter