Mike Damone: You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy.

Alonzo Harris: Hey, first Damu puts one in his head... I'll make you a rich man.
Bone: You got us twisted, homey. You got to put your own work in around here.
Alonzo Harris: All right, it's like that, Bone ?
Bone: It's like that.

I'm not proud of this.

Olive Penderghast

Mitch: No longer will our penises be flaccid and unused.
Bruce: No longer we steal grandfather's porn.
Ox: No longer we will wear blindfolds while jerking each other off.

This is not life, Will. It is a stolen season.

Viola De Lesseps

Father Flynn: You have no right to act on your own! You have no right!
Sister Aloysius: [yelling] I will do what needs to be done!

Wendell: You think this boy Moss got any notion of the sorts that're huntin' him?
Ed Tom Bell: I don't know, he ought to. He's seen the same things I've seen, and it's certainly made an impression on me.

Roxanne Chase-Feder: [an old woman approaches them] And this must be your mother.
Rob Hilliard: My wife.
Roxanne Chase-Feder: I'm sorry!
Rob Hilliard: I'm not.
[kisses his wife]
Marcus Higgins: [onlooking] Oh, grody.

Film School Student: Why'd you skip film school? Don't you think you're a little young?
Eli: Shut the fuck up. Next question.

Marie: The point is, he just spent $120 on a new nightgown for his wife. I don't think he's ever gonna leave her.
Sally Albright: No one thinks he's ever gonna leave her.
Marie: You're right, you're right, I know you're right.

Karen Eiffel: I went out... to buy cigarettes and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick.
Penny Escher: Buying cigarettes?
Karen Eiffel: As I was... when I came out of the store I... it came to me.
Penny Escher: How?
Karen Eiffel: Well, Penny, like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method.

[to Sam and Long Duk Dong] Wait a minute. I have a wonderful idea! Would you like to go to the dance with Sam?

Dorothy Baker

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