Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been "missing" it, Bob.

Complaining Fan: Move that gigantic cotton candy!
Local Officer Rando: God dammit!
[hits man with cotton candy]
Local Officer Rando: How's the view from sugar heaven, bitch?

She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls.

Andy Stitzer

This is no democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am the law.

Coach Boone

Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: Alright, I've never hit a kid before. I mean that's like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?

Curly Bill: Wyatt Earp, huh? I heard of you.
Ike Clanton: Listen, Mr. Kansas Law Dog. Law don't go around here. Savvy?
Wyatt Earp: I'm retired.
Curly Bill: Good. That's real good.
Ike Clanton: Yeah, that's good, Mr. Law Dog, 'cause law don't go around here.
Wyatt Earp: I heard you the first time.

Thurgood Jenkins: Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy.
Kenny: You got it.

Yes, I think I'll have the mahi-mahi, but can I get it with just one mahi?

Shelley

Back home we got a taxidermy man. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him.

Quint

Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?

Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."

Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the calvary which should be coming directly.
Marsellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.
Jules: You sendin' the Wolf?
Marsellus: Oh, you feel better, motherfucker?
Jules: [relieved] Shit, Negro, that's all you had to say!

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