Ron: What are those?
Harry: My dress robes...
Ron: Well, those're all right! No lace, no dodgy little collar...
Harry: Well, I expect yours are more traditional...
Ron: Traditional? They're ancient! I look like my great aunt Tessie!
[takes a sniff in the underarm area]
Ron: I smell like my great Aunt Tessie!

Yeah, and she also said I had no dick. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for.


This is just like CSpan, except I'm not bored.


Joe: [wearing sunglasses at night with two other members of the Pharoh's gang] Whadaya doin' creep?
Curt Henderson: Who, me?
Joe: No, I'm talkin' to the other fifty creeps here. You know Gil Gonzales?
Curt Henderson: Gil Gonzales? No. No, I don't.
Joe: Don't know Gil huh? Well you oughta. He's a friend of ours and that's his car you got your butt parked on.

Adam: My dad's dating my ex-girlfriend.
Emma: You told me about it last night.
Adam: Like in a charming way?
Emma: You were naked and crying.

Dalton Russell: You're too fucking smart to be a cop.
[He points a gun at Frazier]
Dalton Russell: Now get the fuck out of here.
Keith Frazier: What? You gonna shoot me? Go ahead, shit, you got nothing to lose, I damn sure got nothing to lose, so go ahead, shoot me. Shoot me.
Dalton Russell: [pause] Fuck you. Tell them to send someone sane over here.

Willy Wonka: Why, I believe they're going to treat us to a little song. It is quite a special occasion, of course. They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon.
Oompa Loompa: [Oompa Loompas sing] Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, a great big greedy nincompoop / Augustus Gloop, so big and vile, so greedy, foul, and infantile...

Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that.
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Goddamn FBI don't respect nothin'.


If he were any dumber, I'd have to water him.

Crissy Lynn

Ah, get me Long Beach 4-5620. please


A long time ago, in the underground realm, where there are no lies or pain, there lived a Princess who dreamed of the human world. She dreamed of blue skies, soft breeze, and sunshine. One day, eluding her keepers, the Princess escaped. Once outside, the brightness blinded her and erased every trace of the past from her memory. She forgot who she was and where she came from. Her body suffered cold, sickness, and pain. Eventually, she died. However, her father, the King, always knew that the Princess' soul would return, perhaps in another body, in another place, at another time. And he would wait for her, until he drew his last breath, until the world stopped turning...


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