Yianni: Ian, if you're gonna be in this family, I get you some earplugs because the Portokalos women, if they're not nagging someone... THEY DIE!
Toula Portokalos: Ah, you're in so much trouble when I tell my sister!
Athena: Tell me what?

Michael Newman: Sorry, i'm late , sir. Some moron in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so...
Prince Habeeboo: Prince Habeeboo, Drive red Lamborghini.
Michael Newman: Red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.

[Frank Drebin is angrily breaking up with Jane Spencer]
Frank: Oh, and one more thing: I faked every orgasm!
Jane: [heartbroken] Oh, Funny Face.

Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick!

Dr. Buddy Rydell

Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.

Demon

Christy Cummings: It's interesting, we have kind of a family dynamic going on here which pretty much mirrors what I grew up with, I'm the mommy slash daddy, the taskmaster, the disciplinarian.
Sherri Ann Cabot: Mr. Punishment over here.
Christy Cummings: But I also reward and Sherri Ann is responsible for the unconditional love.
Sherri Ann Cabot: And the decorative ability.
Christy Cummings: The heart and the soul which was what my mom did, that was her role, she was there for the unconditional love and it worked for my family, you know... until my mom committed suicide in '81.

That ace could not have helped you.

Teddy KGB

Domino: I'm glad I killed him.
James Bond: You're glad?

Dudley Frank: Thanks, Woody, I feel really safe with you.
Woody Stevens: I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!
Dudley Frank: I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.
Woody Stevens: I felt you smell my neck!
Bobby Davis: Did you smell that man's neck?
Dudley Frank: His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.
Bobby Davis: A lawyer cowboy?

Ted: [to himself] 1275...1275... [to Bill] Okay. The lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport. I knew it!
Ted: [to lady] Excuse me! When did the Mongols rule China?
Lady: I don't know. I just work here.

Kaneda, Searle, report to flight deck... We have an excess of manliness breaking out in the comms centre.

Cassie

Ed Tom Bell: Now that's aggrevatin'.
Wendell: Sheriff?
Ed Tom Bell: [points to a bottle of milk] Still sweatin'.
Wendell: Whoa, Sheriff! We just missed him! We gotta circulate this!
Ed Tom Bell: Well, okay. What do we circulate? Lookin' for a man who recently drunk milk?

FREE Movie Newsletter