You wanted to see if I was crazy and would screw everything up if I actually won.

Nash

[her campaign speech] Who cares about this stupid election? We all know it doesn't matter who gets elected president of Carver. Do you really think it's going to change anything around here; make one single person smarter or happier or nicer? The only person it does matter to is the one who gets elected. The same pathetic charade happens every year, and everyone makes the same pathetic promises just so they can put it on their transcripts to get into college. So vote for me, because I don't even want to go to college, and I don't care, and as president I won't do anything. The only promise I will make is that if elected I will immediately dismantle the student government, so that none of us will ever have to sit through one of these stupid assemblies again!

Tammy Metzler

What did you say? Wait, what did you say?

Curt Henderson

Freddie Cobb: You can't blame a nigger for being a nigger, no more than you can blame a dog for being a dog. But a whore like you, co-mingling with mongrels, betraying your own. That makes you worse than a nigger. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll leave you tied up here naked. First, it'll just be bugs eating at ya. One day, maybe two. That sun's gonna be cooking you. And animals... they're gonna pick on your stink. They'll come looking for something to eat.
Ellen Roark: Carl Lee Hailey should've shot you too.

Mowgli: Gee, cousin Louie, you're doing real good.
King Louie: Now here's your part of the deal, cuz. Lay the secret on me of Man's Red Fire.
Mowgli: But I don't know how to make fire.
King Louie: [singing] Now don't try to kid me, Man Cub / I made a deal with you / What I desire is Man's Red Fire / To make my dream come true / Now give me the secret, Man Cub / Come on, clue me what to do / Give me the power of Man's Red Flower / So I can be like you.

Scott Evil: It's no hassle...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: All I'm say...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: There gonna get a...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm just...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: Would...
Dr. Evil: Sh!... Knock-knock.
Scott Evil: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

Indiana Jones: Wear your jewels to bed Princess?
Willie: Yeah... and nothing else. Shock you?
Indiana Jones: Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.

[thrown into prison] There must be some mistake! I'm Kermit the Frog!

Kermit

Hooper: Dammit, Martin! This is compressed air!
Brody: Well, what the hell kind of a knot was that?
Hooper: You pulled the wrong one. You screw around with these tanks, and they're gonna blow up!
Quint: Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. 'Course I don't know what that bastard shark's gonna do with it, might eat it I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin' chair one time. Hey chieffy, next time you just ask me which line to pull, right?

Taki: What did you think he had? Does he look like a man beaten by jacks?
Zizzo: Jacks are a monster compared to the crap you've played.
Taki: Fuuc you... fuck you...
Zizzo: Fuck Me? Fuck You!

[making fun of Skinny, comparing him to a talk show host]
Tyler Gage: You're like Ellen.
Mac Carter: But even she gets more girls than you!

Shaun: Lance, I want you to stay in your room.
Lance: Why?
Shaun: Because you're an embarrassment.
Lance: OK!

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