Ted: Japan? What's she doing in Japan?
Pat Healy: Well, you've heard of mail-order brides? Well, they go that way too.
Ted: What, are they desperate? She's a whale!
Pat Healy: You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sorta like, um, tuna.

You boys can get on out of here, I don't want to have no more to do with you. Scarin' a poor, unfortunate creature like Billy just so's you could have a few laughs - I've been around that trashy behavior all my life, I'm gettin' tired of puttin' up with it. Now you can stay out of this pool hall, out of my cafe, and my picture show too - I don't want no more of your business.

Sam the Lion

Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: You promised you'd visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.
Elwood: You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... way.

Vivian: Are you sure you want me to stay the night? I mean, I could just pop ya real good and get outta here.
Edward Lewis: No, I'd really like you to stay. I don't want to be alone tonight.
Vivian: Is it your birthday?
Edward Lewis: No, no. Not my birthday.
Vivian: Oh. 'Cause you know, I've been the surprise at a lot of birthday parties.
Edward Lewis: I'll bet you have.

Thor: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?
Ultron: [With his arms outstretched] THIS is the best I can do. This is what I've been waiting for. All of you against all of me!
Steve Rogers: You had to ask...

Jessica (in Clive's body): Hildenburg, I'm sorry I humiliated you in front of the whole school and the visiting eighth graders, but you have no idea what it's like... to wake up every morning... and have to shave your chin.
Hildenburg: [crying] Yes, I do.

Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?

Annie: I don't deserve you.
Walter: Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but... okay.

I hear everything. You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.

Superman

I think she wants me to rub olive oil on your taint.

Kate Holbrook

Legolas: Look at them. They're frightened. You can see it in their eyes.
[All the men turn to look at him]
Legolas: [in Elvish] And they should be. Three hundred... against ten thousand!
Aragorn: [also in Elvish] They have a better chance defending themselves here than at Edoras...
Legolas: Aragorn
[in Elvish]
Legolas: They cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!
Aragorn: Then I shall die as one of them!

Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law.

Officer Michaels

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