Fuck you. I wasn't doing anything. You're like the Gestapo.

Caroline Wakefield

Barnabas Collins: How soon can the horses be ready?
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: We don't have horses, we have a Chevy.

Woody: Hey, w-wait, What happened? What happens next? Come on, let's see the next episode!
Stinky Pete the Prospector: That's it.
Woody: What?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: The show was cancelled after that.
Woody: Wait, wait, wait. What about the gold mine and... and the cute little critters and the dynamite? That was a great show! I mean, why cancel it?
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Two words: Sput-nik. Once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys.
Woody: I know how that feels.

Carl Fogaty: Any last words before I blow your brains out you miserable prick?
Tom Stall: [now speaking as Joey Cusack] I should have killed you back in Philly.
Carl Fogaty: [Smiles] Yeah Joey, you should have.

Broadway! I haven't been zis happy since we crushed Poland!

Franz Liebkind

Deena, you know why I chose you to sing lead? Because your voice... has no personality. No depth. Except for what I put in there.

Curtis Taylor Jr.

I'm Irish! This is milk to me baby! Milk!

Father Brian Finn

Next time, I'll aim a little lower!

Clyde Barrow

Legalize it

Deputy Clementine Johnson

Kevin: Wait, what are those?
Jane: Nothing.
Kevin: Are those?
Jane: NO.
Kevin: Are they bridesmaid dresses?
Jane: This is none of your business!
Kevin: Ohhh... good God. What, you kept them all? You have a whole closet full, why?
Jane: I have a lot of friends and I like to keep them.
Kevin: Right. Well, that makes complete sense because they're... beautiful.
Jane: Some of them are not that bad.
Kevin: Not that bad? I'd like to see one of them that's not that bad.

Adam: You really think that a girl is going to go for me just 'cause I have cancer?
Kyle: For the millionth time. Yes!

General Hummel: Where're the guidance chips?
John Mason: I destroyed them.
General Hummel: That's a bad move, soldier!
John Mason: Does that mean you'll execute us both?

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