Carter: How long this flight?
Lee: Fifteen hours.
Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Lee: [Puts on head phones and begins to sing] Huh! War! Uh! Good God "yaw."
Carter: Oh, hell no! Stewardess! Get me another seat!

Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.

Isabella Swan: I'm not scared of you.
Edward Cullen: You really shouldn't have said that.

There she is! Katniss Everdeen! The girl on fire!

Caesar Flickerman

Welcome to my nuclear family.


Larry: I used to come here when it was a punk club. The stage was... Everything is a version of something else. Twenty years ago. How old were you?
Alice: Four.
Larry: Christ. When I was in flares, you were in nappies.
Alice: My nappies were flared.

Statler: Is this movie in 3-D?
Waldorf: Nope! The Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!

This class will be a waste of your - and what is infinitely worse - my time.


Eli Sunday: Daniel, I'm asking if you'd like to have business with the Church of the Third Revelation in developing this lease on young Bandy's thousand acre tract. I'm offering you to drill on one of the great undeveloped fields of Little Boston!
Plainview: I'd be happy to work with you.
Eli Sunday: You would? Yes, yes, of course. Wonderful.
Plainview: But there is one condition for this work.
Eli Sunday: Alright.
Plainview: I'd like you to tell me that you are a false prophet... I'd like you to tell me that you are, and have been, a false prophet... and that God is a superstition.

Do I look all rancid and clotted? You look at me, Jack. Eh? Look, eh? And I drink a lot of water, you know. I'm what you might call a water man, Jack - that's what I am. And I can swear to you, my boy, swear to you, that there's nothing wrong with my bodily fluids. Not a thing, Jackie.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake

Delilah Fitzgerald: Are you still goin' to kill those men?
Will Munny: I reckon so. The money's still available, ain't it?
Delilah Fitzgerald: Yeah. Your two friends have been taking advances on the money.
Will Munny: What?
Delilah Fitzgerald: You know, free ones.

Mom was right about you!

Nick 'Santa' Claus

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