Peter Gibbons: You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael?
Bob Slydell: Oh yeah, we're bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal.
Bob Porter: Standard operating procedure.
Peter Gibbons: Do they know this yet?
Bob Slydell: No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

This is the day of reckoning!


We're gonna have to go old school on this. A day to shop, a day to prep.

Otto Halliwell

Great, snakes on crack.

Nelville Flynn

I try to learn your ways, understand your obsessions. But this baseball, it's so bleedin' boring, isn't it?

Raymond Calitri

Nicholas: There goes a thousand dollars.
Christine: Your shoes cost a thousand dollars?
Nicholas: That one did.

If we don't act now, we may not have much of an America left to defend.

Albert Nimzicki

I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.

Billy Mack

l assume you're watching these because you're curious about sex... you know. Or filmmaking.


David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.

[to crowd] I know who you are and what you are. I am you!

Idi Amin

Lawrence: Doesn't that chick look like Anne?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, a little bit...
Lawrence: Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I get this feeling like she's cheating on me.
Lawrence: Yeah, I get that feeling too, man.
Peter Gibbons: What do you mean by that?
Lawrence: I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her like she's the type of chick that just... buhhh.

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