I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?


[taking a look at the party's aftermath at his house] What a disaster.


Looks like the cows have come home to roost.

Lt. Frank Drebin

Jim Stark: Now, would you like to rent or are you more in the mood to buy, dear?
Judy: You decide, darling. Remember, our budget.
Plato: Oh, don't give it a second thought, it's, uh, only 3 million dollars a month.
Jim Stark: What?
Judy: Oh, we can afford it. I'll scrimp and I'll save and I'll work my fingers to the bone. You see, we're newlyweds... oh, there's just one more thing... what about...
Plato: Children?
Judy: Yes.
Plato: Right this way, mind you, though, we don't encourage them. They're such a bother.
Judy: Oh I quite agree, I just can't stand it when they cry. What do you do with them when they cry?
Jim Stark: [Magoo voice] Drown 'em like puppies, ha!

Rick Ford: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.
Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...
Rick Ford: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.
Susan Cooper: In black-face? That's not appropriate.
Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.
Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.

The universe is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.

Bernard Jaffe

You're my meal ticket Marty. If you leave it's just me and Barry in a room and I'm trying to explain what the hell it is I do around here.

Michael Clayton

Cpl. Thomas Searles: Who are these ragamuffins?
John Rawlins: Contraband soldiers, straight from the field.
Short contraband: Hey, we slaves in the field when the Yankee man come. Say we soldiers.

When the people a man needs get taken away from him, you can't ever go back to the way you were before.

BB Hensley

Eli: Dude!
Matthew: I know.
Klitz: Dude!
Matthew: I know.

You just earned yourself a dance with the devil, boy.


Banky Edwards: No what would you say? Would you trash 20 years of fucking friendship because you got some idiotic notion that this chick will let you sniff her panties, let alone fuck her?
Holden: Look you fucking asshole, I'm telling you let it go, okay!?
Banky Edwards: What the fuck man, what the fuck makes this bitch all that important.
Holden: Because I'm fucking in love with her man. Okay!?

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