[to Joey] You have got to stop calling me. You're acting like the Fatal Attraction guy here. I feel like I'm going to take a shower and see your silhouette on the shower curtain!

Alma Moore

Rosemary Cross: Is this fake blood?
Max Fischer: Yes, it is.

Do *not* leave cars unattended! Unattended cars will be crushed and incinerated!

Expo Turaqistan Female Annoncer

The Bride: [on Pai Mei] Why did he accept me?
Bill: Because he's a very, very, very old man. And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company.

I hate to be predictable, but I don't give a shit! We learned that routine fair and square. We logged the man-hours. Don't punish the squad for Big Red's mistake. This isn't about cheating. This is about winning. Everyone in favor of winning?

Courtney

It makes my hair shine like the Belt of Orion.

Chazz

Everybody dance!

Corky St. Clair

The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.
Batman: You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.

Ever since you showed up, Todd's been acting like a different person!

Jamie

Carolyn Burnham: Are you trying to look unattractive?
Jane Burnham: Yes.
Carolyn Burnham: Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably.

Kitty Fane: Do you absolutely despise me?
Walter Fane: No I despise myself.
Kitty Fane: Why?
Walter Fane: For allowing myself to love you once.

Norman Burroughs: So... you're saying we should split up?
Dr. Finch: In order to reach that conclusion, Norman, I would need to see both you and Deirdre on a regular and disciplined basis, for five hours a day.
Deirdre Burroughs: I'm available, Doctor Finch.
Norman Burroughs: Five hoursa day?! I can't do that! I have to work!
Deirdre Burroughs: See, Doctor Finch, I told you. I'm married to a narcissist.
Dr. Finch: Norman, if I'm willing to clear my schedule to save your marriage, but you're not... then get out! Leave this office, go home, and start dividing your books and your record albums.
Norman Burroughs: This is bullshit. This is really fucking bullshit.
[Doctor Finch begins writing in his notebook.]
Norman Burroughs: What're you writing?
Dr. Finch: "Norman Burroughs is homicidal. He is an unapologetic alcoholic. He is dangerous and a threat to himself, his wife, and his child."

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