Do you know what its like to have your heart shot out of season and tied to the top of a car? How it feels to be passed like the world's largest kidney stone? Ramada... I don't THINK so.

Topper Harley

And look at that kitchen. You're finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.

Charles

This is not consistent with any demonic possession that I've ever seen.

Father David

Stupid thugs. People behaving like that with guns.

Hyman Roth

Dirk: Look, man, all we need is the tapes, all right?
Record Producer: No, you don't get the tapes until you've paid.
Dirk: In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Reed Rothchild: Look, we can not pay for the tapes, unless we take the tapes to the record company, and get paid.
Dirk: Hello? Exactly.

Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: Eh?
Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: You *will* die like dogs.

The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.

Harry Doyle

Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Hi peter, I saw your billboards, they're spectacular. I'm sorry for calling you a whore. Best of luck with Sydney, if you're not still together... you can Facebook me.

Doug

Police Chief Grady: I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Mike?
Local Officer Rando: Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA!
Rabbit: I don't get it. Tacos?
Thorny: They think I'm Mexican.
Rabbit: You're not?

Carl Peterson: [Carl is rubbing Molly's feet] You have the most beautiful toes, have I ever told you that? And I'm not even a foot guy.
Molly Peterson: Are you concentrating on the game? Or are you lusting at the feet of your soon-to-be wife?

Dolores Umbridge: Your previous instruction in this subject has been disturbingly uneven. But you will be pleased to know from now on, you will be following a carefully structured, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic. Yes?
Hermione Granger: There's nothing in here about using defensive spells.
Dolores Umbridge: Using spells? Ha ha! Well I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom.
Ron Weasley: We're not gonna use magic?
Dolores Umbridge: You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way.
Harry Potter: Well, what use is that? If we're gonna be attacked it won't be risk-free.
Dolores Umbridge: Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class.
[pauses]
Dolores Umbridge: It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about.
Harry Potter: And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what's out there?
Dolores Umbridge: There is nothing out there, dear! Who do you imagine would want to attack children like yourself?
Harry Potter: I don't know, maybe, Lord Voldemort!

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