I'm just a regular guy who did a wicked fucking awesome thing.


The dread pirate Steve be in no man's debt. I'll make a barter with ya; true as the north star. In exchange for your kindness, I'll be sharing me buried treasure with ya... once I find it, that be.

Steve the Pirate

Can anyone direct me to the Smithsonian? I'm looking for an old fossil...

Natasha Romanoff

Dante Hicks: Someone jammed gum in the locks.
Veronica Loughran: You're kidding.
Dante Hicks: Bunch of savages in this town.

Take caution in your tone, Commander. I'm a fair guy, but this fucking heat is making me absolutely crazy.

Col. Jessep

The reality is we're still 11 year old boys locked in a cellar imagining what our lives would have been if we'd escaped.

Sean Devine

Megamind: [about Titan] He'll destroy the whole city!
Metro Man: I'm sorry. I'm finally free to get in touch with my TRUE power... making awesome music!
[strums a guitar]
Megamind: You're kidding, right?

Frankie Dunn: I swear to God, Father, it's committing a sin by doing it. By keeping her alive, I'm killing her. Do you know what I mean? How do I get around that?
Father Horvak: You don't. You step aside, Frankie. You leave her with God.
Frankie Dunn: She's not asking for God's help. She's asking for mine.

Ritchie: That's it. You're fired.
Isabel Bigelow: Doesn't matter... I quit! Yeah, so you better call my agent.
Jim Fields: You don't have an agent.
Isabel Bigelow: Then call my cable man!

Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well. Thanks for that, Bill.
Billy Mack: For what?
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh... best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow!
Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.

Jill: Are you going bald?
Jack: Huh?
Jill: No no no, you're getting fatter, and your hair doesn't realize it needs to cover more face.
Jack: Okay.

If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny. I'm a clownfish.


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