Sheriff: Are you fucking crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go.

[Listing superheroes he has met] Let me see, who else have I met? There's The Pincer, The Pickler, Princess Headbutt, um... White Flight And The Black Menace - they work together.

Invisible Boy

Warden: Try not to sing anything that reminds them that they're in prison.
Johnny Cash: You think they forgot?

Charles: Time.
Matthew: Honestly?
Charles: Yes! Time!
Matthew: It's about ten to nine.
Charles: Bastards.

Kevin: He's pullin' out the porn.
Finch: He's desperate. Jim, just wait 'til she leaves.

Nancy B. Artingstall: I'm very non-physically resourceful. I read a lot of intelligence, I read a lot of poems, and I've read all of the Hunger Games.
Rayna Boyanov: How is that helpful?

How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?

Melvin Udall

Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave, it was a dime bag of oregano.
Lieutenant Dave Spradling: Yeah, well, your client thought it was marijuana.
Kaffee: My client's a moron, that's not against the law.
Lieutenant Dave Spradling: I got people to answer to just like you do. I'm gonna charge him.
Kaffee: With what, possession of a condiment?

Jimmy: I see you got fat!
Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

Marty McFly: The answer's no, Griff.
Griff Tannen: No?
Marty McFly: Yeah, what are you deaf and stupid? I said "NO!"
Griff Tannen: What's wrong, McFly. 'You chicken?

[after Mauricio broke Hal's spell]
Hal: Okay, who do you think is the most beautiful woman in the world?
Mauricio: Wonder Woman.
Hal: Okay... let's say everyone else in the world thought Wonder Woman was ugly.
Mauricio: It wouldn't matter. Because I know they'd be wrong.
Hal: See! That's what I had with Rosemary! I saw a knock out, I don't care what anybody else saw!
Mauricio: You're right. I guess I really did screw you, huh?

Jerry Shaw: [shouting] Are you the one who called me on the phone?
Rachel Holloman: She called you, too?

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