Mary Jane: I wanna... act. On stage.
Peter Parker: Really? Well that's perfect. You were awesome in all the school plays.
Mary Jane: Really?
Peter Parker: Yeah. I cried like a baby when you played Cinderella.
Mary Jane: Peter, that was first grade.
Peter Parker: Well, even so...

Alpa Chino: That's the theme song for the Jeffersons!
Kirk Lazarus: Just because it's a theme song doesn't make it any less true.

Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?

Professor Henry Higgins

People don't like to have fire poked, poked in their noses.

Corky St. Clair

Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

HAL

Darren MacElroy: I'm un-adopting you.
Jimmy: What?
Darren MacElroy: Well, legally I'm disowning you.

You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.

Chip Douglas

This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Morpheus

Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards.

Van Wilder

Dr. Stephen Maturin: Well, Mr. Blakeney, it would appear that you have the makings of a naturalist.
Blakeney: Well, sir, perhaps I could combine them to be a sort of... fighting naturalist, like you, sir.

You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!

Kenny

Aileen: I wish there was a way that people can forgive you for something about this, you know. But they can't. They can't, man. So I gonna die, Sel.... Hey Sel, I'll never forget you. Good bye, baby. Bye baby.
Selby: Good bye, Lee.

FREE Movie Newsletter