Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.

Rob

Charles: We were buying her a wedding dress.
David: Pathetic excuse. Who's she marrying?
Charles: Some total penis.
David: What is it about penises that they get such great wives?

Andy Sachs: [seeing Nigel with a black gown] I love that! Will that fit me?
Nigel: A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we'll be in business.

These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world threatening issue and stick with it for about a week.

Droz

Dr. Alan Grant: Oh my God. Do you know what this is? This is a dinosaur egg. The dinosaurs are breeding.
Tim: But Grandpa said all the dinosaurs were girls.
Dr. Alan Grant: Amphibian DNA.
Lex: What's that?
Dr. Alan Grant: Well, on the tour, the film said they used frog DNA to fill in the gene sequence gaps. They mutated the dinosaur genetic code and blended it with that of a frog's. Now, some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment. Malcolm was right. Look...
Dr. Alan Grant: Life found a way.

Tugg Speedman: This is insane. Are you telling me you're quitting the movie? We're supposed to be a unit!
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

Don't expect me to get excited over another damn thing we need to find

Ron Weasley

Otter: Ah, she broke our date.
Boon: Washing her hair?
Otter: Dead mother.

Sir Leigh Teabing: Robert! Do I owe you money?
Robert Langdon: Leigh, my friend. Care to open up for an old colleauge
Sir Leigh Teabing: Of course.
[Robert goes to shut the door]
Sir Leigh Teabing: But first, a test of honor. Three questions
Robert Langdon: [Somewhat annoyed] Fire away!
Sir Leigh Teabing: First, shall I serve coffee or tea?
Robert Langdon: Tea, of course.
Sir Leigh Teabing: Correct. Next question, Milk or Lemon?
Robert Langdon: That would depend on the tea now.
Sir Leigh Teabing: Correct! Now the kast and most grave of inquiries. In which year did a Harvard honor student outrow an Oxford student at Henley?
Robert Langdon: [Reluctantly] Surely such a travesty has never occurred.

Nicholas: What's that?
Conrad: [signs document] This... is... the bill.
Nicholas: Do you want to split it?
Conrad: [exhales] Oh God yes! I'll take some of that...
[shows Nicholas enormous number at bottom]
Nicholas: [shocked] Oh my God.

Duke: I was just going for a walk. I couldn't sleep.
Nurse Esther: You were going to see Miss Allie. Now you know you're not allowed. It's against the rules. You go back to your room. And as for me, I'm going downstairs to get a cup of coffee and won't be back for a while. Stay out of trouble.

Steve Rogers: "I know you don't think I can do this..."
Bucky Barnes: "This isn't a backyard, Steve, it's a war!"

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