Donald: Who do you think would be easier to sleep with, Captain America or a great white shark?
Bumper: A great white shark.

Claude Lacombe: Mr. Neary, what do you want?
Roy Neary: I just want to know that it's really happening.

Zeus: McClane. McClane!
John McClane: What?
Zeus: [shouts] McClane!

Can this really be happening?

Elliot Moore

Fuck the po-lice!

Saul

Malcolm Crowe: Do you ever talk to your mom about how things are with Tommy?
Cole Sear: I don't tell her things.
Malcolm Crowe: Why not?
Cole Sear: Because she doesn't look at me like everybody else, and I don't want her to. I don't want her to know.
Malcolm Crowe: Know what?
Cole Sear: That I'm a freak.
Malcolm Crowe: Hey... you are not a freak. Okay? Don't you believe anybody that tries to convince you of that. That's bullshit! You don't have to go through your life believing that. Okay?
Cole Sear: You said the "s" word.
Malcolm Crowe: Yeah... I know. Sorry.

Brad Hamilton: Arnold, do you want to work at All-American Burger?
Arnold: Yeah, well, um...
Brad Hamilton: I can probably get you in there. Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.

Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?
Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.

Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Woody: Oh. Well, that's good.
Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we?
Woody: No. Daaaah-oof!
Buzz: [he attacks Woody]
Woody: Okay, come on. You got a piece of me.
Buzz: [gets knocked down by Woody, he closes his helmet on Woody's hand]
Woody: Ow!

The helmet I was wearing... Oh come on, that's funny. That's really funny, I mean I'm the only person who wears a helmet to work who isn't putting out fires or racing for NASCAR. But what do you do, I can't quit... their insurance is amazing, what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.

Sam

Anna: I don't want trouble.
Dan: I'm not trouble.
Anna: You're taken.
Dan: I've got to see you.
Anna: Tough.
Dan: You... KISSED me!
Anna: What are you - TWELVE?

You CANNOT make friends with the rock stars. That's what's important. If you're a rock journalist - first, you will never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. And they'll buy you drinks, you'll meet girls, they'll try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs... I know. It sounds great. But they are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it.

Lester Bangs

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