The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!

Chip Douglas

I gotta get home for dinner. My wife is slowly poisoning me to death and she gets very angry if I'm late.


Jack Swigert: Uh, well, if anyone from the, uh, from the IRS is watching, I... forgot to file my, my, my 1040 return. Um, I meant to do it today, but, uh...
Sy Liebergot: [at Mission Control] That's no joke. They'll jump on him!

Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.

[narrating] Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.


Beatrice McCready: Do you know people in the neighborhood who don't talk to the police?
Patrick Kenzie: Yeah, one or two.
Beatrice McCready: We wanna hire you to augment the investigation of Amanda.

I'm going to start beating the shit out of you in the next five seconds.


West Indian Archie: Now you're outfitted. You ready to tackle the streets?
Malcolm X: Yeah, I'm ready. Let them come.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [at Charlie's disciplinary hearing] This is such a croc of shit!
Mr. Trask: Mr. Slade, you are in the Baird School. Not a barracks.

Rita: Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me?
Phil: No thank you. I've seen Larry eat.

Why didn't you learn the violin?

James Bond

Phil: Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes and a large coke.
Ralph: [to Phil] And some flapjacks.
Phil: [to cop] Too early for flapjacks?

FREE Movie Newsletter