Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?
Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

Harry: What about birth control?
Erica Barry: Menopause.
Harry: [pauses] Who's the lucky boy?

[to Gould] They ought to put your mouth in a circus.

Jimmy Johnston

Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation!

Max Bialystock

Yeah well... sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand.

Luke

Jim Braddock: Joe, did you come all this way just to talk about the weather?
Joe Gould: Hey, maybe I was in the neighborhood! Maybe I wanted some fresh air!
Jim Braddock: Joe, this is New Jersey.
Joe Gould: Good point.

Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to them.
Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Col. Jessep: You can't handle the truth!

Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen.

Angel Stripper

Droz: Want some advice?
Tom: Well, yeah.
Droz: Well, here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before 11. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car?
Tom: Uh, no.
Droz: Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.

Grande, er... grande familio, grande tradizione de Christmas presents. Stupido.

Jamie

Lisa Houseman: God, I'm so sick of this rain. Remind me never to take my honeymoon at Niagara Falls.
Marjorie Houseman: So, you go to Acapulco.

Sharts: I wonder when they gonna give us the blue suits.
Trip: [laughs] Where you from, boy?
Sharts: South Carolina.
Trip: South Carolina? Well then you ought to know better than that, boy.

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