I'm not gonna kill him. I'm just gonna kick his ass.


Cher: Lucy, the fire department called again. They said we need to clear out that bush. You said you'd get Jose to do it.
Lucy: He your gardener, I don't know why you no tell him.
Cher: Lucy, you know I don't speak Mexican.

Kirby: Why do they put ice in the urinals?
Kevin: It tastes better.
Kirby: Bah Dum bum ching.

I have no one. At least you two have each other.

Charlie Fineman

Elliot: Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck, what do you call that?
Boog: Ahhh a loser! But check this out... behold the mighty grizzly... i look like a bear, i talk like a bear but i can't fish, i can't climb a tree, i can't even go in the woods
Elliot: Thats nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
Boog: I ride a unicycle for crackers
Elliot: I have a glass eye
Boog: I can't snap
Elliot: I thought log was a colour
Boog: I can't see my feet!
Elliot: I killed a man!

The Baroness: You're far away. Where are you?
Captain von Trapp: In a world that's disappearing, I'm afraid.

Da Mayor: Doctor...
Mookie: C'mon, what. What?
Da Mayor: Always do the right thing.
Mookie: That's it?
Da Mayor: That's it.
Mookie: I got it, I'm gone.

Let's start this fake college. Then, we'll go start a meth lab somewhere. It's a gateway crime. That's how these things start.

Sherman Schrader

Richard Brewer: Lord, forgive us for our wrongdoings, for our misguidance by heathen religions. Thank you for keeping us alive. Lord, be with us in doing the right thing. Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallow be thy name.
William H. Bonney: Please, Dick. It's getting cold. [Billy and Dick both pull guns] I could've killed you, Dick. I could've killed you, but I don't want to kill you. I want to eat.

Michael Newman: [trying to convince him to let the project be procrastinated so he can go camping] Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project?
Ammer: Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.

Christy Cummings: It's interesting, we have kind of a family dynamic going on here which pretty much mirrors what I grew up with, I'm the mommy slash daddy, the taskmaster, the disciplinarian.
Sherri Ann Cabot: Mr. Punishment over here.
Christy Cummings: But I also reward and Sherri Ann is responsible for the unconditional love.
Sherri Ann Cabot: And the decorative ability.
Christy Cummings: The heart and the soul which was what my mom did, that was her role, she was there for the unconditional love and it worked for my family, you know... until my mom committed suicide in '81.

Reuben Feffer: No Lisa, I'm not going to take you back
Lisa Kramer: [stunned] What, why?
Reuben Feffer: Well, you screwed a SCUBA instructor on our honeymoon. What kinda cold-hearted bitch will do that to someone they love. I have to be an idiot to take you back.

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