Well, you've done your job, so I don't suppose I can kill your wife Zenat. Although frankly I'd be doing the sighted world a favor.


I went to a rejuvenation clinic and got a whole natural overhaul. They took out some wrinkles, did hair repair, changed the blood, added a good 30 to 40 years to my life. They also replaced my spleen and colon. What do you think?


Sometimes it's easier livin' the lie.

Carl Hanratty

William: Father, I am afraid, I won't know the way back home.
John Thatcher: Don't be foolish, William, you just follow your feet.

Penny: You're going to surf in that?
Leslie: No, I'm gonna surf in my da-na-da-na.
Penny: Your what?

Larry: [when Everette wakes up wearing a dress] Everette, that's another reason you shouldn't drink tequilla.
Everette: [sees the dress] Damn, this always happens when I eat the worm.

Simon: [talking to police on speaker] Well, is the ebony Samaritan there?
Zeus: You got a problem with ebony?
Simon: No, no. My only problem is that I went to some trouble preparing that game for McClane. You interfered with a well-laid plan.
Zeus: Well, you can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.

[last lines, as the fish have managed to roll into the ocean in their plastic bags]
Deb: Yay!
Bloat: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Gill: We did it!
[long pause]
Bloat: Now what?

[repeated line] You know what I hate?

Mr. Smith

Sophie: I don't care if you've slept with hundreds of men!
Donna: I haven't slept with HUNDREDS of men...!

Cassie Cartwright: I don't get you, Ennis del Mar.
Ennis del Mar: I'm sorry... Was probably no fun anyway, was I?
Cassie Cartwright: Ennis, girls don't fall in love with fun!

Dave: You ball your socks, you floss, and you don't hide booze in the toilet tank.
Dave: [pauses] You live like a Mormon.

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