Younger Cop: And was there anything of value in the car?
The Dude: Oh, uh, yeah, uh... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh... uh, my briefcase.
Younger Cop: [expectant pause] In the briefcase?
The Dude: Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers.
Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?
The Dude: I'm unemployed.
Reid Garwin: 'Sup fellas?
Tyler Sims: Where were you? I stopped by to give you a lift.
Reid Garwin: Had things to do. How's the party?
Pogue Parry: Don't know. Just got here.
Reid Garwin: Well, hell, boys.
Audrey: Where were you?
Fletcher: Having sex.
Audrey: Well, I hope it was with someone *very* special!
Sarah: You know you never told us your name.
John Rambo: John.
Sarah: Where are you from?
John Rambo: Mohave, Arizona.
Sarah: Why'd you leave?
John Rambo: I got drafted in Nam.
Sarah: And you just stayed?
John Rambo: It's complicated.
Sarah: You have family back home?
John Rambo: Father, maybe. I don't know.
Sarah: Aren't you curious to see how things might've changed back home?
John Rambo: Gotta have a reason for that.
Harry Burns: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry Burns: I was being nice.
I'm a dog chasing cars. I don't have plans. I just do things. I'm not a schemer.The Joker
Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.Newscaster
Percy Wetmore: You switched 'em. You switched 'em somehow, you bastards.
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Yeah I always keep a spare mouse in my wallet for occasions such as this.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well. Thanks for that, Bill.
Billy Mack: For what?
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh... best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow!
Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.
Father Brian Finn: I keep thinking about what you said in seminary, that the life of a priest is hard and if you can see yourself being happy doing anything else you should do that.
Father Havel: That was my recruitment pitch, which is not bad when you're starting out because it makes you feel like a marine. The truth is you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest or if you marry a woman it's the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept that it's a choice that you keep making again and again and again.
Salieri: Mozart, it was good of you to come!
Mozart: How could I not?
Salieri: How... Did my work please you?
Mozart: I never knew that music like that was possible!
Salieri: You flatter me.
Mozart: No, no! One hears such sounds, and what can one say but... "Salieri."
[Beatrice has run away from home, and revealed herself hiding under Roy's bed]
Roy Eberhardt: How long have you been here?
Beatrice Leep: Oh, don't worry. I kept my eyes closed while you put on your very colorful jammies.