Lucy: I won't read the word!
Sam: I'm your father and I'm telling you to read the word. Cause I can tell you to because I'm your father.
Lucy: I'm stupid.
Sam: You are not stupid!
Lucy: Yes, I am.
Sam: No, you are not stupid 'cause you can read that word.
Lucy: I don't wanna read it if you can't.
Sam: No, because it makes me happy! It makes me happy hearing you read. Yeah, it makes me happy when you're reading.
Lucy: [Lucy reads again]

I would stay asleep my whole life, if I could dream myself into a company of players.

Viola de Lesseps

Raoul Duke: I wouldn't dare go to sleep with you wandering around with a head full of acid, wanting to slice me up with that goddamn knife.
Dr. Gonzo: Who said anything about slicing you up, man? I just wanted to carve a little Z on your forehead.

I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!

Julie

I wouldn't trade places with Edmund Exley right now for all the whisky in Ireland.

Captain Dudley Smith

Phil Parma: I'd like to get an order of peanut butter, umm, uh, cigarettes, Camel Light, uhh, water...
Pink Dot Girl: Bottled water?
Phil Parma: No. You know what, forget the water. Just give me a loaf of bread. White bread.
Pink Dot Girl: Okay.
Phil Parma: And, umm, do you have Playboy magazine?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah.
Phil Parma: Okay, one of those, and uh, Penthouse? The magazine?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah.
Phil Parma: You have that? Okay uh, one of those, and umm... Hustler?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah.
Phil Parma: You have that?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah, I said. That it?
Phil Parma: Yeah that's it.
Pink Dot Girl: Still want the peanut butter, bread, and cigarettes?
Phil Parma: Yeah. What?

I'd love to leave my door unlocked at night, but this ain't Canada.

Justin Hammer

If he had guts to knock Mom cold once, then maybe she'd be happy and then she'd stop picking on him. Because they make mush out of him! Just mush!

Jim Stark

Don Billingsley: If I have anything to say about it tonight you're going to get drunk and you're going to get laid.
Mike Winchell: I'm not going out drunk and foolin'.

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Happy Gilmore

Lucy: If I tell?
Fanny: I can assure you, I'm as silent as the grave.

If I'm being completely honest, he does have these amazing balls that I just love to play with. They're firmer and fuzzier. [looks around] Tennis balls! He's my tennis partner!

Tracy

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