I thought she hated my guts.

Jake

Zeus: Well, at least I'm gonna die rich.
John McClane: I've got bad news for ya, you're only dying with me.
Zeus: How the hell do you know?
John McClane: I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up $100 billion worth of gold is making people think you did.

You know everyone's saying you're a loser.

Janeane

Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan is number one exporter of potassium, Other Central Asian countries have inferior potassium.

Borat

Does it really matter so long as you're having fun?

Sally

Mac MacGuff: Who's the father?
Juno MacGuff: It's... it's Paulie Bleeker
[everyone stares]
Juno MacGuff: ... What?
Mac MacGuff: I didn't think he had it in him.
Leah: I know, right?

Lando Calrissian: Yes, I said closer. Move as close as you can and engage those Star Destroyers at point blank range.
Admiral Ackbar: At that close range we won't last long against those Star Destroyers.
Lando Calrissian: We'll last longer than we will against that Death Star, and we might just take a few of them with us.

Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal.
Neil Patrick Harris: [looks down to count money] Here's 80 for the meal, and 200 for the car
Harold: What did you do to my car?
Neil Patrick Harris: I made some love stains in the back. You'll see...

Dad, I can't believe you drank... and smoked... and was such a slut... But I still love you.

Maya Hayes

"Dirty Steve" Stephens: There are people who will never secede...
John Tunstall: Succeed.
"Dirty Steve" Stephens: Who will never succeed anywhere.
Richard Brewer: There's a whole roomful right here.

Willie: Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable on bottom, Fred?
Fred Claus: To be honest Willie, I don't think it's gonna make much of a difference either way.

I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here.

Trent

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