Virginia Woolf: You return to what?
Vanessa Bell: Tonight. Oh, just some insufferable dinner not even you could envy, Virginia.
Virginia Woolf: But I do.

Marlin: Crush, wait. How old are you?
Crush: Hundred and fifty, and still young, dude. Rock on.

Look, the guardian thing is done, okay? You did your job. It's over with. You've gotta be something else, you've got have a bigger purpose then just me, Bee! I can't be the end all deal in your life!

Sam Witwicky

Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, I am *not* trying to seduce you.
Benjamin: I know that, but *please*, Mrs. Robinson, this is difficult...
Mrs. Robinson: Would you like me to seduce you?
Benjamin: What?
Mrs. Robinson: Is that what you're trying to tell me?
Benjamin: I'm going home now. I apologize for what I said. I hope you can forget it, but I'm going home right now.

Colonel Isaac Johnson: I won. You lost. Get used to the idea, son.
Bob Lee Swagger: I'm not your son.

[Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister]
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!

Theodore Faron: Who's the father?
Kee: There's no father. I'm a virgin. Nah! Be great, though, wouldn't it?

Who are you and what are you doing here?

The Once-ler

The president wants to pass an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Anybody who's been married knows it's always the same sex!

Tom Dobbs

Momma, you take Mardell and JD and get home 'fore I tell that lawyer there that you were so worried about your welfare you never signed those house papers like you were supposed to. So anytime I feel like it I can sell that house from under your fat, lazy, hillbilly ass. And if you ever come back, that's exactly what I'll do.

Maggie Fitzgerald

Your highness, this is a battle I do not think we can win.

Captain Panaka

Check in Attendant: Mr. Rhod, you are going to have to assume your individual position.
DJ Ruby Rhod: I don't want one position, I want all positions!

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