Randal Graves: Do you know what I just watched?
Dante Hicks: Me pulling a can off some moron's fist?
Randal Graves: Return of the Jedi.

Liz: He said that faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled.
Bethany: You're suggesting I need to get filled?
Liz: In more ways than one. You need to get laid, Bethany Sloane. You need a man, if only for ten minutes.
Bethany: It's been my experience that the average male is never a man. Not even for ten minutes in his entire lifespan.
Liz: That'a a bit militant. You thinking of joining the other side?
Bethany: Couldn't do it. Women are insane.
Liz: Then YOU need to go back to church and ask God for a third option.
Bethany: I think that God is dead.
Liz: The sign of a true Catholic.

You'd be smart to kill me now.

Johnny

Derek Vinyard: Jesus, Danny. What the fuck are you thinking?
Danny Vinyard: Derek, there's a black guy out there breaking into your car.
Derek Vinyard: How many Danny? How many?

I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark.

God

Valentine McKee: What the hell's in those things, Burt?
Burt Gummer: A few household chemicals in the proper proportions.

James Bond: You didn't think I'd miss this performance, did you?
Kara Milovy: Oh, James!

Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, OK? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, OK? Are you following?
Holden: Yeah.
Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: What is this supposed to prove?
Banky Edwards: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
Banky Edwards: Good. Why?
Holden: I don't know.
Banky Edwards: Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!

Alice Lomax: Let me tell you about New York.
Kevin Lomax: Let me guess.
Alice Lomax: Fallen, fallen, is Babylon the great. It has become a dwelling place of demons." Revelation 18. Wouldn't hurt you to look it over.
Kevin Lomax: Couldn't forget it if I tried.
Alice Lomax: Oh, really? And what *happened* to Babylon?

Catwoman: It's chilly in here.
The Penguin: I'll warm you.

It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.

Alan Garner

Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair.

Tony Manero

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