Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!

Dark Helmet

Dr. Pichlow: I know she'll appreciate all you've gone through to find her. Let's call her.
Harry Dunne: It's ringing!
Lloyd Christmas: [Answering a pink phone] Whoever this is, we're in the middle of something very important here.
Harry Dunne: This is your dad.
Lloyd Christmas: What? Hey guys, I know this is weird timing but I gotta take this. It's my dead dad.
Harry Dunne: She's got me on hold.

I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago.

Rob

Reuben Tishkoff: So... where's the partner's desk gonna be?
Willie Banks: Oh, there is no partner's desk, Reuben. You're out.
Reuben Tishkoff: What? Are you gonna throw me off the roof?
Willie Banks: Well, I don't want to.

Indeed. The record shows that Captain Kirk once held the rank of Admiral. And that Admiral Kirk was broken for taking matters into his own hands in defiance of regulations of the law. Do you deny being demoted for these charges? DON'T WAIT FOR THE TRANSLATION. Answer me now.

General Chang

[Fred is moaning, the male cop knocks on the window]
Male Cop: Are you okay?
Grace: Don't worry. This isn't what it looks like.
Fred: Yeah, it isn't.
Grace: I was giving him a faux-job.
Male Cop: A faux-job?
Female Cop: Yeah, that's when a woman goes south on a man but she doesn't use her mouth. So she uses her hands and makes noises.
Fred: Wait, what?

Ben: Hey, what's wrong?
Andie: Nothing. It's beautiful.
Ben: Thank you.
Andie: You're beautiful. The game, the whole thing. It's just... I wish I ate meat. Mary had a little lamb, little lamb. You have to take it away before I gag.

Johnny Cash: So, where's your truck driver?
June Carter: Stock car driver. And you'll be happy to know things aren't working out between the two of us.
Johnny Cash: It doesn't make me happy! Well... maybe a little it does.

Da Mayor: Doctor...
Mookie: C'mon, what. What?
Da Mayor: Always do the right thing.
Mookie: That's it?
Da Mayor: That's it.
Mookie: I got it, I'm gone.

Did you chop down this tree?

The Lorax

Oz: [sotto voice, to Glinda] I might not actually be a wizard...
Glinda: Yes, but they don't know that.

Greg: Officer McClane, you have no idea what I'm capable of!
John McClane: You sound like a very scary guy.

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