[Shep Proudfoot bursts in and knocks Carl out of bed while he was having sex with hooker] Shep, what the fuck ya doin'? I'm banging that girl!

Carl Showalter

You ain't got a license to kill bookies and today I ain't sellin' any. So take your flunky and dangle.

Leo O'Bannion

What are we having social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch.

Jodi

Teacher: Everyone, please take your seats. You heard the bell. You know what it means. Last week, the assignment was to write an essay about your family. Who they...
Teacher: [class: "Are!"] And what they...
Teacher: [class: "Mean to us!"] Excellent droning.

Linda Greenlaw: I saw your guys loading bait. You doing a turnaround?
Captain Billy Tyne: No rest for the weary.
Linda Greenlaw: There you go. Flaunting your work ethic.
Captain Billy Tyne: I don't have a work ethic. I just have work... If I'm going to catch up to you.

You came back. I always knew you were a good man.

Elizabeth Swann

At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.

Dale

We have to do something, they are not going to land this plane.

Thomas E. Burnett, Jr.

Mike Dexter: Guys, we're gonna be in college soon. You know what there's gonna be in college, right?
Jake: Girls that used to be in high school.
Mike Dexter: No, women. College women. Women with no curfew, women on the pill, women... women, bro. We are staring into the future here. And the future is women.

[Searching for Twinkies] Where are ya, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards!

Tallahassee

Natalie: Shelley knows how to meet guys, hence, we will learn how to meet guys.
Shelley: Yeah, hence!

Nightcrawler: You know, outside the circus, most people were afraid of me. But I didn't hate them. I pitied them. Do you know why? Because most people will never know anything beyond what they see with their own two eyes.
Storm: Well, I gave up on pity a long time ago.
Nightcrawler: Someone so beautiful should not be so angry.
Storm: Sometimes anger can help you survive.
Nightcrawler: So can faith

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