Honey, just cuz I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid.


[Hermione looks at Ron's broken leg, and they flirt by mimicking Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson]
Hermione: Ow! That looks really painful.
Ron: It's sorta painful. They uh, they might... chop it.
Hermione: I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will fix it in a heartbeat.
Ron: It's too late, it's ruined. It'll have to be chopped off.

Crash Davis: You having fun yet?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Oh, yeah. Havin' a blast.
Crash Davis: Good.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
Crash Davis: He did know.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: How?
Crash Davis: I told him.

Larry: I want you to tell me your name. Please.
[throws down money]
Alice: Thank you. My name is Jane.
Larry: Your real name.
[throws down more money]
Alice: Thank you. My real name is Jane.
Larry: Careful.
[throws down more money]
Alice: Thank you. Still Jane.
Larry: I've about got another 500 quid here. Why don't I just give you all this money, and you tell me what your real name is, Alice.
[throws down all his money]
Alice: I promise.
[picks up some of the money]
Alice: Thank you. My real name... is plain... Jane Jones.

Vice President Kathryn Bennett: We're trying to do everything we can.
Egor Korshunov: Tell me what I want to hear or I will execute a member of the senior staff and continue killing one hostage every minute until the plane crashes, or refueling plane arrive. Well what do you say?
Vice President Kathryn Bennett: Fuel's on its way.
Egor Korshunov: Thank you.

Francisco Flores: [about assasinating Eduardo Ruiz] I want to use a bomb.
Helena Ayala: Are you kidding? Can't you just shoot him or something?
Francisco Flores: I don't really like guns. You shoot someone in the head three times and some pinchy doctor will keep them alive.

Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.


Les Grossman: What you gotta do is pull down their pants and spank their ass, you spank it.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: You spank that ass Les!

Joel Goodson: Some of the girls are wearing my mother's clothing.
Lana: What's wrong with that?
Joel Goodson: I just don't want to spend the rest of my life in analysis.

All I'm saying is, when we split the cheque three ways the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man.

The Blue Raja

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

Pete Hansen: What's wrong, Pookie?
Jenna: Pookie? Uh... *Pukie!* You're married!

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